Sex & Dating

By Julie Ferman, Legendary Matchmaker & Dating Guru.

Are you hoping that your online dating adventure will “net” you a keeper? You’re not just fooling around – you are really looking to find and attract and enter into a relationship with one special person? Excellent. Here’s your short, punchy guide for how to set yourself up for success.

  1. Tell The Truth. Let no fib or untruth sneak onto your profile page. Have a trusted friend review what you’ve written and invite that person to help you embellish, slash and reword what you’re choosing to share about yourself.
  2. About Those Photos… You simply MUST have current, clear, high quality photos on your profile. A sharp, smiling face shot and the ESSENTIAL full body shot – THIS YEAR’s version of you. Skip the shirtless selfie in the bathroom mirror, lose the shot with 6 other bridesmaids, ditch that sunglasses and cap shot. Toss the photo with your ex blurred out. Seriously, folks… if you want to have second dates, you’ll want to have as few surprises as possible on the first date. Next time you spend any quality time in the mirror to look nice for an event – take THAT opportunity to have a friend shoot a bunch of photos, to capture a great one for your profile.
  3. Spin Positively. Let nothing negative fly off your fingertips. Frame everything you say in a positive light. Rather than saying “No couch potatoes” … say that you’re a good fit for someone who enjoys regular workouts and a healthy diet.
  4. Look For What’s Right. It’s OK to have a long wish list. But the key is to get VERY clear with yourself about what really matters most. Whittle your oh-so-long list of Ideal Mate Qualifiers down to Your Top Five. These are the qualities, characteristics and attributes that you would be unhappy without. You’d rather be alone for the rest of your life than choose a partner who wasn’t made up of these five elements. Hint: Height and hair don’t usually make it to the top five… When reading profiles (Yes, dismiss fewer based solely on the photos) look for your Top Five Critical Criteria. Resist the temptation to veto someone for not having item number 7 or 17 on your list. THIS will change everything for you. I promise.
  5. Say Yes. When in doubt, when a candidate is knocking on your door, if this person appears to have your coveted Top Five Critical Criteria, practice saying Yes. Remember – the way you’ve been doing dating hasn’t yet delivered the intended result.  Right? The nature of blind spots is that we simply can’t see our own. The great likelihood is that you’ve been dismissing, vetoing, and discarding plenty of potential candidates for what really are silly and superficial reasons. The ones that jump out at you as being the most delicious and desirable – well, guess what? EVERYONE notices that one, and so that “IT person” gets lots of attention. The best catch in the room is usually NOT the best looking, the tallest, the most charming or the wealthiest. Trust me on this. Look for the gems hidden just below the surface. Look just a little bit deeper than you have been. You don’t want to be overlooked for a minor flaw, or for not being the brightest star in the sky, do you? So don’t make that mistake when you’re trolling online profiles.
  6. Have The Courage To Be Vulnerable. Yes, it takes guts to put yourself at risk, to reach out, to say Yes, to call or to answer when the phone rings for you. How to bust through that fear is to focus on bringing a smile to this person’s face. It’s just an email. It’s just a text message. It’s just one date. Do dating one moment at a time, and if your intention is simply to contribute to this person, to brighten this person’s day and to lift spirits with each communication and each encounter, you simply can’t fail. In other words, make dating less about you and more about contributing to these other souls along your journey, one touch at a time. 
  7. Be Present.  Give the person in front of you (on your iPhone or in person) the gift of your presence. Resist the temptation to compare this person to a former love or to the fictitious ideal mate that you have lodged in your mind. Give this person the benefit of a fresh, open-minded perspective. Just as you want to be considered.  Do unto others…. When asked about anything sensitive regarding your past, share a positive 30-second response.  Don’t go down dark tunnels, and if your date is falling into that trap, rescue the conversation by offering a positive spin and bring the focus back to the present.
  8. Have The Courage To Initiate. If the right ones aren’t knocking on your door, see what happens when you reach out. Save your Favorites and send one thoughtful, concise, playful email every day.
  9. Be Smart.  Catch the creeps.  There are predators out there. Count on it. Keep private your last name, residential and work addresses. And use an email address that doesn’t reveal your last name. Be smart. Take your time before inviting someone into your home. Keep your pants on – hold off on sex until you are both ready to focus exclusively on each other and until you know that you share the same purpose for dating.
  10. Practice Kindness. Express appreciation. Say “Thank you.” Be kind to each other. Be honest with each other. When it’s not a fit, wish each other well and burn no bridges. As a wise grandmother once said, “Always be nice. And don’t turn down a date with anyone – you never know who his friends might be…”

By Julie Ferman, Legendary Matchmaker & Dating Guru.

Meet Julie at for free coaching on video – visit her profile at for more information.

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The pain experienced when finding out that your spouse is having an affair can be horrendous. Learn how to move through this time in your life with patience and kindness to yourself.

This infographic from Huffington Post can give some new insight in why, where and when people are cheating:


And in our strategy – you can go trough the steps if you have experienced this. 

Drea Correa has put together this healing process strategy to help you move forward in your life. She will help you take actionable steps include acknowledging the betraying, breaking the negativity, building your resilience, releasing anger and learning to trust.Drea is a divorce and conflict resolution coach who has has combined her personal journey and professional experience with coaching to help others through their conflicts, both personal (divorce) and professional (career conflict). She is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and Energy Leadership-Master Practitioner (ELI-MP) with iPEC, a highly distinguished and remarkable year-long program accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Her experiences have given her the insight and expertise needed to deal with high stakes and stressful situations.

Divorce is a messy subject that requires tact, patience, and diplomacy. Drea can help you minimize the stress of the situation and focusing on taking care of yourself with kindness and patience through the process.

Start your journey to healing with Drea right now:
Skjermbilde 2015-06-27 kl. 5.23.21 p.m.

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4 Tips For A Better Orgasm, Goaly Life Coaching Blog


Ladies, your next amazing orgasm could be just a few simple steps away…

According to yoga expert and sex aficionada Psalm Isadora, one in three women say they’ve never had an orgasm, while another third of women say they only have an occasional orgasm.

Couple, Orgasm Tips, Goaly Blog

Only 30% of women say they have orgasms regularly during sex. That makes us – and Psalm – a little depressed. However, there’s hope. Psalm shared four different tips for your love life that will lead you to that mind-numbing orgasm you’ve always wanted.

1. It starts with your brain

Your most influential sex organ is your brain. You’ve probably heard that before, but it’s true. What takes place between your ears has a lot to do with what happens between your legs.

Many women are trapped inside their heads, Isadora said. Part of the secret to unlock and enjoy a savory love life is unlocking your mind.

“We need to get out of our heads,” Psalm said, “and deeply connect to the pleasure of our body as well as learn how to have the most mind-blowing orgasms and multiple orgasms we’ve ever had in our life.”

2. Saddle up!

Many women hear the word “cowgirl” and they cringe. Being on top makes some women feel really exposed to their partner, causing them to have anxiety and opt for other positions, Isadora said. If you’re nervous about trying it, she said, turn out the lights and get busy in the dark.

The cowgirl position’s greatest strength lies in the way it allows the female to control the pace of sex, as well as the depth of penetration. In other words, if you’re willing to saddle up, you’ll give yourself the ability to find the right rhythm to produce the perfect orgasm you’ve been dying to have.

“Woman-on-top affords a number of advantages for the woman to find the most pleasure and achieve her orgasm,” Isadora said. “You can control the speed and the position so you can find what really feels good to you.”

3. Circle Down!

If you didn’t already know it, your hips play a vital role in your ability to have an orgasm. By using your hips during sex, you can unlock all kinds of pleasure.

“Circling your hips is learning how to come into a more sensual movement,” Isadora said, “and rolling your hips is going to allow for greater pleasure and range of motion. It’s really nice in any position to be able to move your hips and to roll them.”

Isadora said hip circles can be used in almost any position, so experiment!

“Start thinking about how you would do those hips next time you’re in the bedroom and throw those hip circles into any position,” she said.

4. Kegelicious

If you dry heave when you hear the word “kegel”, your lady-parts doctor is probably to blame.

“I talk to a lot of women and they don’t like kegel,” Isadora said. “I think its because most people were introduced to it by a gynecologist who made it very not sexy.”

Your kegeliciousness will come in handy if you experience tightness or pain during sex, Isadora said, because the exercises increases the flexibility of your vaginal muscles.

“As you squeeze and release you can start to feel that you get some more control. It tightens and tones the muscles of your vaginal wall as well as helping them expand,” she said. “Start to do this as an everyday practice …  your lovers will be amazed at your ability to contract and expand!”

Still Not Satisfied? More Tips From Psalm

Psalm’s step-by-step strategy on Goaly is full of incredible advice for achieving a fantastic orgasm. See what all the buzz is about – multiple orgasms! – on her “My Secrets to Having Better Orgasms” video strategy.

Here’s the introductory video to Psalm’s “My Secrets to Having Better Orgasms” strategy series:

Photo Credit: nyuhuhuu, Flickr Creative Commons