Carole Ann Rice

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By Life Coach and Author Carole Ann Rice

You know how it is – you’ve tried just about everything but nothing’s working.  A course of vitamins, the latest self-help book and even a little judicious retail therapy but you are still feeling as flat as a supermodel’s tum.  Sometimes a fragrant oily bath or a bit of chocolate mouth-entertainment just doesn’t cut through the feeling that someone out there is living the life you ordered.

We can look to others for some emotional rescue but find the Closed sign up as they can neither see or hear us.  Other times a holiday, or something lush to look forward to on the horizon, is enough to drag us through the grey days and the gloom.  Still… it all kind of feels like your killing time, sleepwalking or enduring life rather than enjoying it.

I used to work as a feature writer in a newspaper office and the coffee machine used to digitally count down the seconds until a grey cup of mud was dispensed.  I remember then thinking it was like some portentous millennium-style clock ticking off moments of my life I wasn’t enjoying and reminding me to shape up and ship out.

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These are precious days we will never have again so why are we just crossing them off as though they were something to suffer and then discard until what we perceive as the main event comes into view?

So if life is currently showing up in black and white and you want to switch it back to full Technicolour with wraparound sound you may need to start having a love affair with life.  I know this is easier said than done when you feel like a big grey damp duvet is wrapped around you one doesn’t feel flirty or even vaguely interested in Life even when it is wearing tight jeans, crooking it’s finger at you and giving you the cutest “come on” smile.

But one has to coax out that vital feeling by finding things that nourish and restore from the inside out, like a sort of spiritual hot choc and marshmallow totty that will light you up and keep the home fires burning even when you feel like your pilot light’s gone out.

Here are some suggestions I guarantee (oh and I do like a guarantee in life – there are so few) will start to get you plugged in once again to the mellifluous heart beat and rhythm of life and put a Gene Kelly glide in your stride.

  • Start smiling at people or striking up conversations with folk you see regularly at the station, in the corner shop or grocers, the rubbish collectors, security guys, neighbours, check -out staff, road sweepers – feel the connectedness  in your daily community.  It feels good to belong and it’s such a buzz walking down the street and waving, smiling and greeting folks you know.
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  • Exercise often.  My daily tonic is a run around the park with the sun bouncing off the frosted grass, the fog in my hair and the gnats in my teeth.  Nature provides its own natural Prozac and feel-good vibes. Birdsong, noticing the subtlety and magic of our seasons and the great sense that you are but a small speck in a vast universe tends to keep things in perspective.
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  • Wearing your best stuff.  Get your killer heels, finest lingerie or pulling pants, sharp suit, jewels, perfume and body products out of tissue paper and storage and wear it right now.  This time, right here right now, is one to celebrate.
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  • Be generous and practice random acts of kindness.  Buy the guy behind you a coffee or a colleague their favourite snack bar.  Send thank you notes and compliment your friends and make them feel good. It comes straight back at you like a big karmic boomerang.
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  • Do less.  We are all doing far too much and we are not building in enough down-time treats to restore ourselves.  Create daily habits which nurture and lift the heart from speaking to old friends, reading a good book, playing music or eating good organic food. Make time to honour yourself.
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  • Don’t worry about getting out of the comfort zone – be terrified you’ll never get out of it.  Regularly scare yourself silly by trying new skills, speaking up, meeting new people or committing to something that will stretch you.  Give your soul a shake up.
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  • Act “as if” you already had everything you are aiming for. Manifest it right now by being the person with the big promotion, 6 figure income, sashaying like a love bomb and broadcasting the success you have always craved.  Just watch how people start to respond.
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  • Make a list of 100 things you are good at/ like about yourself or others like about you.  Read it regularly, believe it then own it.
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  • Remember that your life and all that is in it could well be on somebody else’s wish list.
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  • Give yourself a hug.  Show yourself unending, unconditional compassion, be gentle and embrace your own humanity.
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  • Don’t walk strut.  Chin up, swing your hips, loosen the shoulders and smile.
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  • Look in the mirror and say “Who loves ya, baby?” and know the answer

 
Carole Ann Rice is one of the UK’s top coaches. Find out more www.realcoachingco.com

Get coaching on video from Carole Ann Rice live at www.goaly.com on her profile http://www.goaly.com/carole-ann-rice

 

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Listening to the heart – that’s intuition

One of the UK’s leading coaches Carole Ann Rice shares her secrets to unconscious intelligence.

Our ears never get us into trouble. But our mouths need a police escort sometimes and a lock down in some cases. If we listen and don’t jump we can weigh up a situation and take a measured response. But sometimes it’s the wrong one especially when we override our filter and go straight for brain reaction.

Our filter? Our hearts, of course. Our hearts never desert us, never turn away, never really let us down. Our minds, heads and egos often run away with a situation leaving us stuck with the consequences for good or ill. But imagine if you could just pause for 5 minutes and ask that other true presence – our heart – what it feels about the situation. It’s the inner voice that doesn’t use words.

I have coached countless women, who, in particular seem disconnected with their intuition or gut instinct. They routinely date users and losers seemingly incapable of having the protective inner compass that sets off alarm bells and warns of potential dangers ahead.

Highly functioning, professionally successful women who don’t seem to be able to tune into the frequency that says “don’t’ even think about it” as they head crazily into situations and relationships that would have others digging out air raid shelters under their desks bulk buying supplies of bottled water and nacho chips.

In her seminal book Women Who Run With The Wolves poet, psychoanalyst and social historian Clarissa Pinkola Estes says that it is neglectful, suffocating or careless mothering of daughters that can cause a faulty intuition guidance system in later life. She says: “when we assert intuition we are therefore like the starry night: we gaze at the world through a thousand eyes”.

I have never dated a bad guy and few people or situations have hoodwinked me down a blind alley of pain or deception. But I have always had a strong sense of what I like, trust and need. My psychic radar is an essential bit of my kit. I hone it well.

I find developing this special sense requires patience, trust and subtlety. It takes self belief, confidence and self awareness to tune into the gentle whispers or vibrations which are our clues. Learn to listen to the mellifluous rhythm of your heart messages as your spiritual sat nav.

Here I share some of my methods which steer me well when forming relationships or negotiating business opportunities.

 

    • I look deep into the eyes of the person who is offering something. Are they kind and sincere or cold, flat and without feeling?
    • What sort of feeling does their presence give me? Do we have connection and real synchronicity?
    • How do they smell? What is their body language? How is their face in repose when no one is looking? Is their laugh rich or hollow?
    • Do their words sound real or fake? What words stand out? What are they really saying?
    • Is there any element at all of threat? Even the merest hint must be minded.
    • If there is any doubt I delay until sure. I won’t be railroaded. I would rather decline than be rushed. But beware of analysis paralysis which will bind you to confusion.
    • How does my skin, breathing, body and trust levels feel about the person/situation?
    • Learn to discern between fear, excitement and dread.

One of the saddest life lesson is regret. Not taking an opportunity or making a wrong choice. Try to play out the scenario being offered in your head. What are the pros? Can you live with the cons? The bottom line is to ask your heart – what do I need to know? Will I prosper and thrive or barely survive? How will I feel if I don’t step forward? Can I live with that? Will I be OK whatever happens?

It is our life’s journey to know ourselves. Our loves, our values, our passions and our fears must be understood and considered. We must have firm personal and professional boundaries and learn to say no. People pleasing can make you a resentful or abused victim when used as a tool to garner love. Desperate needs cloud intuition.

The answers you seek may take time to form and may come in dreams, a sudden flash when walking down the street or in the shower so give it time if you can. Trust your higher self, your heart, knows the answer and believe in its wisdom.

You do know, you know?

Carole Ann Rice www.realcoachingco.com

Want to get more coaching from Carole Ann Rice? Check her strategies right here:

 

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