Goodbye Rut, Hello New Reality!
“I feel stuck.”
It’s something we hear a lot from our colleagues, people who visit Goaly and from ourselves from time to time.
Providing a technical definition for stuckness is difficult. In simple terms, it refers to those moments or seasons in life where we feel like we can’t make any progress – no forward movement – no matter how much we want it.
Most of the time we aren’t aware of the forces amid our stuckness which are keeping us chained to one spot.
We turned to some amazing coaches to talk to us about what causes us to be stuck and how we can break free from our limitations and move forward.
We’re Ruled by the Terrible F.M.B.
Forbes columnist, leadership trainer and career coach Kathy Caprino says many of us are stuck in one certain spot in life because we’re ruled by fears, mindsets and behaviors (FMB) we’ve developed over the years.
“We don’t realize that these fears, mindsets and behaviors not only hold us back, but they actually co-create and attract what’s happening in our lives,” Caprino told us.
Getting out of this FMB dominion is a matter of taking ourselves to the next level of thought, a level where we have control over what we do and who we want to be.
“It’s only when we shift internally and empower ourselves to think, act and believe at a higher level can the outer changes we long for become a reality.”
“It’s only when we shift internally and empower ourselves to think, act and believe at a higher level can the outer changes we long for most become a reality,” Caprino said. “Einstein said, ‘A problem can’t be solved on the level of consciousness that created it.’ Truth!”
We Love Our Internal Auto-Pilot Setting
Dating coach Julie Ferman pointed out we have a knack for falling into a routine of behavior that becomes our way of life not because it’s best, but because it’s easiest.
“We tend to keep doing things the same way. We get stuck in ruts, patterns of thought and behavior, and it’s uncomfortable to do something new and different,” Ferman said. “It’s ‘easier’ to just be on auto-pilot, going about our day’s journey in a way that’s already known.”
The best way to break out of our auto-pilot rut, Ferman said, is to make the choice to be courageous and thoughtful.
“It takes courage and commitment to stop, think, and act or behave in a new way by choice as opposed to instinct or pattern,” she said.
“We honor our humanity by stepping into that place of courage and commitment, initiating a new reality for ourselves.”
In fact, choosing to break out of our auto-pilot actions and embrace a new life is one of the unique things which makes us human.
“As humans we have the ability to choose… and that’s what’s uniquely special about being human,” she said. “We honor our humanity by stepping into that place of courage and commitment, initiating a new reality for ourselves.”
We Don’t Think We Can Change
Aboodi Shabi, one of the United Kingdom’s leading leadership developers and transformation coaches, told us many of his clients don’t truly believe they can change.
They get so accustomed to living their life according to their habits — both good and bad — they don’t realize they are capable of changing themselves and leaping out of their rut and into a new reality.
“We can fall into believing that we can’t really change who we are.”
Identifying the the thoughts which underpin our belief that we can’t change is a key to getting unstuck.
“We can … fall into believing that we can’t really change who we are,” he said. “If we don’t address the your core beliefs and interpretations, then new learning isn’t likely to stick.”
Reaching Back in Time
Leading financial coach Michelle Tascoe said many of us live our lives a certain way based on our tendency to look to previous events in our life for answers about what to do in the present.
“People get stuck in a pattern when they look to the past/experience for answers,” she said. “By doing this they get more of the past and never create a new future.”
When you’re stuck looking to the past for what you want, you tend to lose sight of what you truly desire in the present.
Tascoe told us the key to making a change in your life is to know what you want and to desire a transformation.
“Just wanting to change isn’t enough. If you don’t know where you want to go you’ll never get there.”
“I am shocked by how many of my clients initially don’t really know what they want,” Tascoe said. “There is a saying that people perish for lack of vision. Just wanting to change isn’t enough. If you don’t know where you want to go you’ll never get there.”
Caught in Core Beliefs
“Human beings get ‘stuck’ in particular habits of being when our core beliefs – about ourselves, about other people, and about the world itself – are inconsistent with the results we desire to achieve,” certified Law of Attraction coach and life coach trainer Christy Whitman told us.
For instance, she said, if you believe that you are inadequate, that belief becomes a filter through which you interpret everything that happens.
Most of the time, that filter will reinforce your belief you are inadequate. If you wan’t to break out of the life you’ve been living, you’ll need to expose these beliefs.
“By bringing these hidden beliefs to the light and taking actions that challenge their validity we shift our consciousness and later our reality.”
“By bringing these hidden beliefs to the light and taking actions that challenge their validity,” Whitman said, “we shift our consciousness and alter our reality.”
If you want to know more about Christy’s introductory video for Goaly: